Always Choose Life

Why should I be stuck in this vicious cycle which I know in my heart that can never be resolved? Always choose to live my life happily. Always choose life. Why drive myself to a dead end when I know I do have a choice?

There are lots of possibilities in life. Never give up. I know I have made this mistake in my life but I should accept it, take it as a lesson for me and move on. Why be so stubborn? Why keep on persisting when I know things can never change for the better? Why must I be so insistent?

Dun be too rigid. Be more flexible. I need to live my life happily no matter what. I can still enjoy my life and have lots of hobbies and friends and people to talk to. My life will still be great. Dun have all these unnecessary pain. Yes, they are unnecessary. Totally unnecessary. I did not struggle so hard to make myself well just to fall into this mess of things. I need to pull myself out and CHOOSE LIFE.

I need to keep my sanity. I need to believe myself again. I am very proud of myself no matter what he says. Who is he to judge me? He does not know me at all. Whatever he says are not true at all...so why should I bother. I should cross him out in order to be happy again.

I am doing a great job so far in what I am doing and I am proud of myself. Despite my circumstances, I have been responsible and doing what I should be doing. I should spare a thought for myself from now on. I need to love myself despite all the negative attacks I receive from this man.

I dun need a toxic person like him in my life. I know I can never trust him again. He betrayed my trust time and again. Like a roller coaster, like a yoyo...always back and forth, back and forth but never getting out of this vicious cycle. I can say that what happened recently and what he did and said recently were perhaps the last straw and really opened my eyes that if I wanna carry on living , I need to cut him out. If we continue like that..it will not be a good ending.

I need to learn to be independent again. I need to avoid disappointments by not having any expectations. I can never live with his bad attitude, negativity and cruelty. His behaviour will never bring me happiness. And the fact remains that he will never change. Has been 12 years....still the same ...so...time to give up and move on.

I NEED TO CHOOSE LIFE FROM NOW ON. MY LIFE. Peace.