Reason for depression

I doubt his behaviour will ever change. He has been like this for as long as I know
him. That is 12 long years.

I really hate it when he gets angry with me for the slightest thing, give me silent treatment, dun reply when I speak to him and his rolling his eyes at me and of cos all his cruel judgements and criticims about me. Now I knwo there is a name for this. Emotional abuse. No wonder I am so depressed all the time. How can I be happy when I have to tread on eggshells everyday? One small thing and BAM! All the anger manipulation, silent treatment etc. Getting so tiring.

I always thought that I HAVE TO ACCEPT all these hurt from him. Now I realise I DUN HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!! Why should I?

I am sick and tired and tolerating all these. I am sick and tired of accepting all these from him. I can honestly say that I have never been happy cos of the way he treats me. I doubt I ever will be happy if he continues to treat me this way. He can never change. He will never change cos he does not know the seriousness of it. And even if he does...he will not care or bother to change.

He will be in a rare good mood for a few days and then it will be back to square one. So tired. I am alreasdy thorougly exhausted by his behaviour. This is somehting I can never accept and I can never force myself to accpet.

Now I really feel that I will feel so much less depressed when I am not with this person and walking on eggshells and dreading his next anger episode and silent treatment. I really hate this. I just want to be happy. I can still have friends who will give me positive energy instead of all the negative ones.

Him treating me well will not last. There will always be a reason for him to be angry with me again no matter how trivial and the silent treatment and anger manipulation will begin. I hate it when he keeps gving me the black face. Who does he think he is to do this to me? I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS AGAIN.

This really happens too often already. Almost everyday. I am really tired. Really exhausted. I wanna be happy agian no matter what. I hate the insecurity that anytime he will silet treatment again.

I hate this emotional abuse. I wanna break free. I really want to no matter what.