Bad Mood

I am in a real bad mood today. I hate to stay home on a weekend. I hate him screaming at me for such a trivial matter. I hate all these...really..I am so tired...exhausted...depressed. I feel like crying all the time..non -stop being sad. Am I really suffering from depression? I can't be. I thought I can control myself and my mood but it turns out that I cannot. I am so scared of myself . I am totally out of control at times. What am I to do? And I have this persistent inertia and low mood but I dun wanna take anti-depressants cos I dun want the side effects. I will try to battle my depression but I am just so afraid of losing control of myself.