My attitude

Why am I thinking this way?? Why is my attitude and thinking now so selfish and self-absorbed? Have I been so influenced by him that I have lost empathy and kindness?
I cannot be like this. This will cause me more unhappiness. I dun wanna be unhappy. Why can't I have more faith in my own kid. Why can't I just enjoy the moment?
I used to be so forgiving and kind and never put anything bad presented to me to heart. I used to have such zest and enthusiasm to do things and have the courage to try new things. Why have I changed so much. Yes..I believe I have been influenced badly.

I just have to remember that he does not define me and that I don't have to think and act like he did. I am my own person. Whatever a person focus on expands. That matter has never bothered me. Only he seems so angry about it that it is beginning to bother me. But I feel what u can't change u have to accept. Acceptance is a smart way to deal with things.

I am who I am. I dun wanna be him or react like him to get his approval. Why do I need his approval. I dun need his approval to know that i am doing the right thing. He kept saying that everything that I did was wrong. Then what about him? Was what he was doing right? He was either trying to manipulate with his anger but choose to ignore everything. SO is that right??? I dun think so. So dun tell me I have been doing the wrong things. ANyway...who is he to judge what's right or wrong.

I am just too disappointed with this person. I was disappointed with him ten years ago..I am still disappointed with him now. Haha..some things dun change. I REALLY cannot stand him n o matter how much I try to psycho myself to.

Dunno how long I can stand this kind of life. At least I learnt one lesson...that is to always trust my heart and listen to my heart. My heart already told me that he is not the right one for me..yet I still went ahead with....sighzzz...I shouldn't have settled. I SHOULD have listened to my heart.