About Me

I believe that ultimately..happiness is the key. A day is only wasted when one is not happy. I aim to be happy everyday no matter what happens.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Cannot carry on like this

I really cannot go on like th is. I cannot be manipulated or controlled like this anymore. Really enough. There is a right way to love him and a wrong way. Giving him everything he wants and demands is definitely the wrong way to love him.

I cannot live my life like this anymore. It is too stressful. I cannot be controlled, manipulated and yet have to be overly cautious to the extent of obsessing anymore. It is too tiring going on like this. Whatever happens..let it happen. I have been running myself down trying to control this and that, feeling guilty when things go wrong and constantly worrying about when things will go wrong. It is too tiring already.. Time to let go of control...put things in God's hands and relax my mind. But that doesnt mean I allow danger to happen. Still have to be alert for danger. Other than that...I need to let go fo my own sanity, if not I will definitely end up going crazy. I cannot carry on living my life like this. It is too tiring. Whatever happens.....let it happen.

I dun wanna be overly worried, overly cautious, overly crazy, overly doing the right and perfect thing, letting my mind run in overdrive etc. Too tiring and stressful already. Time to relax and let imperfection take over. Whatever. What will be will be.
Time to let my mind take a much deserved rest. Dun be controlled anymore. Dun be afraid anymore. No fear....no worry and definitely no guilt.

Can't live my life like that. Whatever will be will be.

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