These have got to change

Some things need tobe changed.

I am not going to let my son step all over me, shit on my head, vent all his crap on me just cos I love him and want him to be happy. No more. He needs to have some male influence in his life so that he will not continue to the whinny kid that he is. I have been tolerating all his nonsense just cos I love him sooo very much but I realise that if I really love him , I need to make him an independent person rather than to be reliant on me all the time. Love is moulding him into an independent and responsible person and not doing everything for him all the time. He needs to learn how to handle certain situations on his own. To love him is to make him independent so that when he goes out into the world, he will survive. He has to learn how to take care of himself and all the necessary survivial skills and the handling of his own emotions, etc.

I had loved him the WRONG way. I love him a lot...so much so that I do things for him that will not benefit him in the long run. I had allowed him to be overly reliant on my in almost all aspects which will not help him in his own growth. Cos I felt so unloved as a child, I had wanted my child to feel so loved and to meet his every need so much so that it is actually not doing him any good in the long run. I have to love him the right way....by providing h im the necessary skills to make him an independent person. I also have to let him have the skills to handle his own emotions without me having to comfort him all the time and allowing him to vent all his unhappiness and frustrations on me. How stupid could I be. I thought I was loving him when I did all those things in the past but I realise now that all these will only hinder his own growth in life.

I have to learn to let go and let him learn the things himself. Let him grow as he will.